Accepting our kids as-is can be overwhelming and frustrating. Maybe you have this vision of who you want your child to be.  For us as parents, we have to surrender our “idea” of who our kids should be so that we can respond to them the way they need us to. The first step to surrendering our expectations is acceptance. Accepting our kids for who they are requires a change in our hearts and minds. We need to lay down our expectations and just be with our kids. When we truly accept them, it is then that we learn their strengths and weaknesses.  We stop looking at them through a microscope and allow them to be who they really are.  Our kids will do amazing things. We just have to step aside and let them be who they are meant to be.

 

The weather is getting warmer and the days are getting longer. Use this time to teach your kids about spring and summer. Point out the budding trees and chirping birds. Talk about the warmer temperatures and blooming flowers. Below is a list of things to do outside with your kids!

1. Go on a nature walk
2. Plant vegetables and flowers
3. Visit your local farmer’s market
4. Make a bird feeder
5. Fly a kite
6. Go on a picnic
7. Create a backyard obstacle course
8. Watch butterflies/baby birds
9. Pick up liter
10. Volunteer at your local animal shelter

Being outside has many health benefits ranging from improving your mood to lengthening your attention span.  The more your kids can be outside, the more opportunities they have to learn about plants, animals, and nature.  Have a happy spring!

Conscious parenting allows you to engage with your kids using emotional intelligent discipline choices. This does not mean you ignore ALL parenting practices. It means you become more mindful of what is causing your children’s behaviors. Conscious parenting strengthens your children’s feelings of safety and acceptance.

Here are three helpful tips when parenting your children:

1. Use a calm and controlled tone. Try not to let your emotions take over your discipline. Remember your kids are watching you all the time.
2. Re-evaluate your expectations. Are the tasks your asking of your children too difficult or too easy?
3. Check yourself. Are you calm and confident with your parenting? Are you showing kindness and love at all times?

Remember, changing your parenting takes time and commitment. You will find things that work and don’t work with your children. Be patient and count your blessings. Your influence on your kids will be stronger with a loving, nonjudgmental approach rather than a fear based approach.

 

When disciplining our children, positive intent allows us to better teach life skills to our children in a calm manner. Positive intent is taking a step back and analyzing why our children lash out/misbehave the way they do. Are they crying out for attention or love? Are they needing more structure? More flexibility?

For example:  Lucy hit her younger sister(Mary) when you asked Mary a question. Instead of letting your emotions intervene, take a step back and ask yourself why Lucy hit Mary.

Step 1: Say, “Lucy you wanted my attention.”

Step 2: No judging words. Describe Lucy’s action. “So you hit your sister.”

Step 3:  Tell Lucy she is a loved and worthy person who made a mistake.  Then say something like, “You didn’t know how to get my attention so you hit your sister.” If Lucy corrects you with why she hit her sister, repeat her correction. Lucy responded, “No I hit her because you were talking to her and not me.” Repeat this statement back to Lucy.

Step 4: Set the limit and teach the acceptable behavior. “Lucy you may not hit your sister. It hurts her and is not a kind thing to do.  If you want my attention, you need to come to me not to your sister.”

Step 5: Ask Lucy to practice how she can get your attention without hurting others. When she is finished, praise her! Tell her how proud you are that she can make the right choice.

I know this  might seem like a lot to do for one situation, but it will transform hurtful situations into teachable moments!

Conscious Discipline can be defined as developing discipline within children rather than applying discipline to them.

The first part of Conscious Discipline we are going to touch on is giving our children choices. Giving your children choices helps them feel in control. For example:  It is time for Lucy to pick up her toys. When you tell her to pick up, she ignores you and continues to play. Instead of enforcing a consequence or punishment for her behavior, enforce a positive choice. “Lucy you have a choice. You can pick up the baby dolls first or the Lego’s first. What is your choice?” Lucy replies, “Baby dolls because I love babies.”

Will giving your children choices motivate them to complete the task you are wanting done every time? Probably not. But it will help guide and direct the kids who need more one-on-one attention.

In order for us (parents) to deliver choices to our kids on a daily basis, two things are required:

1. We need to think what we want our children to do while giving them choices. We wanted Lucy to pick up her toys.
2. We need to give our children at least two positive choices. We allowed Lucy to choose which toy she wanted to pick up first.

Giving children choices empowers them to make a good choice rather than a negative choice. Stay tuned for the second part of Conscious Parenting coming next week!