Hi Everyone!

We’re glad you’re joining us as we study the book, The 5 Love Languages of Children, by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell. In this blog we will be talking about why having a full emotional tank is so important for helping to keep emotions in check and, if you don’t know your dominate love language (or your child’s), how you can find out.

Let’s start with defining what exactly is your child’s “emotional tank”? According to Gary Chapman, “every child has an emotional tank, a place of emotional strength that can fuel him through the challenging days of childhood and adolescence.  Just as cars are powered by reserves in the gas tank, our children are fueled from their emotional tanks.  We must fill our children’s emotional tanks for them to operate as they should and reach their potential.” Gary Chapman is spot on with providing his readers with a specific, concrete definition of what exactly is an “emotional tank”. I think each one of us can probably list several times (especially recently) when we felt like our emotional tank was running on low or maybe even was empty. For most of us, when we have nothing left to give, we aren’t at our best for our children, loved ones and most others we encounter. As an adult, we can feel ourselves moving towards starting to lose control of things. But what about our children? Are they able to recognize their emotions are becoming stronger than what they can handle? If your child’s feelings are getting the best of them, here is where your child needs you to “step-in” before unwanted behaviors develop.  Ok, probably a deep breath is needed. Here is where we need to pause what we’re doing and reassure our child we’re there for them. Depending on your child’s main love language, it might be a warm hug, or kind words of encouragement (you’re a great kid), maybe, it’s making them their favorite snack, or just sitting quietly next to them. Any one of these/a few of these/or all of these, can lead to recharging your child’s emotional tank.

What is your child’s main love language? The easiest way to determine this especially in young children is, just simply see what love language expression has the greatest impact on your child. Of the five love languages, which one best meets the needs of your child? You probably already have a good idea but being intentional about observing how your child responds to different expressions of love will help give you clues on what your child’s dominate love language is. 

Do you know what your main love language is? If you’re not sure and you want some help in identifying your primary love language, visit Dr. Chapman’s website: 5lovelanguages.com and take their quick love language on-line quiz. The quiz only takes a few minutes and when you’re finished, it will score your responses and let you know what your dominate love language is.

Amazing things happen when emotional tanks are full and you’re speaking your child’s love language!

In the next blog, we will be unpacking Love Language #1: Physical Touch

Hope you will join us next time; see you soon!