I’ve been waiting patiently to write about this love language, well, maybe not so patiently…. In Gary Chapman’s and Ross Campbell’s The 5 Love Languages of Children, I think the authors beautifully articulate the purpose of acts of service. The authors write, “The ultimate purpose of acts of service to children is to help them emerge as mature adults who are able to give love to others through acts of service. This includes not only being helpful to cherished loved ones but also serving persons who are in no way able to return or repay the kindness.” 

Sometimes, the acts parents do for their children daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly, seem to go unnoticed. When parents feel like their efforts of genuine love expressed through their acts of service go unappreciated, attitudes can teeter towards going into the  resentful camp. Chapman and Campbell warn their readers about keeping attitudes in check because when we become less than positive, children will feel these acts are not an expression of love. The authors tell us, when parents care for their children with a spirit of resentment and bitterness, a child’s physical needs may be met, but their emotional development can be greatly hampered.

I believe with this love language modeling is especially important. As you continuously express your love to your children by caring for them, and they see you doing helpful and kind things for others, you are planting seeds to teach your children how to treat others. Years ago, while I was shopping with my 4-year-old daughter, she saw an elderly woman who was struggling with opening the door, and unprompted, ran over to help her. I was stunned. After she helped the woman and ran back to me, I told her how proud I was of her that she was being so helpful, she just smiled and told me that we need to help people who can’t do things for themselves. I then asked her how she knew that, and she told me she had seen me helping others who needed help. My young daughter taught me a valuable lesson that day. Our children are watching us and learning how to navigate life through our actions. Our words are important, but our actions often “speak” ever louder.

So, keep on keeping on, doing loving acts of service for your children, loved ones, and others. And someday, you will be joyfully watching your children do the same for others, with a kind and loving heart. But in the meantime, if you’re still waiting for appreciation and gratitude from your children, try to be patient, it’s coming…….

Up Next: Discipline and the Love Languages. You won’t want to miss this one!