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Tips & tricks for parents to make the most out of every moment.

 I’m glad you’re joining us, as we continue to have conversations from Dr. Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell’s book, The 5 Love Languages of Children. Words of affirmation have a powerful impact on children not only at the time they are said, but later, too. Has something someone said to you as a child stayed with you even today? I heard often as a child when trying something new, “sure you can do it” and even to this day, those words are part of my internal dialogue when weighing doing something for the first time. These authors perfectly articulate “their words” in telling readers why words are so important when talking to children. Here is what Dr. Chapman and Ross Campbell say about words used with children, “In communicating love, words are powerful. Words of affection and endearment, words of praise and encouragement, words that give positive guidance all say, “I care about you.” Such words are like a gentle, warm rain falling on the soul; they nurture the child’s inner sense of worth and security.  Even though such words are quickly said, they are not forgotten. A child reaps the benefits of affirming words for a lifetime.  Conversely, cutting words, spoken our short-lived frustration, can hurt a child’s self-esteem, and cast doubts about his abilities. Children think we deeply believe what we say." 

Hi Everyone! We’re so glad you’ve joined us as we dive into Gary Chapman’s and Ross Campbell’s Love Language #3 from their book, The 5 Love Languages of Children.

Early into this chapter, the authors pinpoint the main concept for their 3rd Love Language, quality time. “Quality time is a parent’s gift of presence to a child. It conveys this message: You are important. I like being with you. Quality time is focused, undivided attention.” 

I think it is hugely helpful when Chapman and Campbell are specific about how parents need to shift and adjust their quality time actions to meet the changing needs of their physically and emotionally developing child. 

Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell make some interesting points in their book, The Love Languages of Children about Love Language #4, Gifts. “The giving and receiving of gifts can be a powerful expression of love, at the time they are given and often extending into later years. The most meaningful gifts become symbols of love, and those that truly convey love are part of a love language. Yet for parents to truly speak love language number four-gifts- the child must feel his parents genuinely care. For this reason, the other love languages must be given along with a gift. The child’s emotional love tank needs to be kept filled for the gift to express heartfelt love.”

Of all the love languages, I think gifts is the most complicated one to balance and apply. The authors share with us in chapter 5, gifts must be combined with another love language, so not to be misinterpreted by a child that the gift it is an expression of conditional love (birthday and special holiday gifts get a pass on this). Gifts can be an easy way to express your feelings towards your child, but if the gift is the only love language your child is receiving from you, it could be sending the wrong message.

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 At Before5, we are passionate about helping you understand how your child grows and develops – especially in the first five years, which is when the really important learning happens.

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